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HiDeeHo

"Some calls it madness...I calls it HiDeeHo." - Cab Calloway
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Tuesday, February 18, 2003

NOT TOO MUCH INFORMATION

The more I watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the more I find myself attracted to Spike.

If I had to go through life with only three condiments, they'd have to be salt, honey and garlic. I'm glad I don't have to, though.

Morgan, by some retro-DNA-time flux, acts a lot like Josh did when he was that age.

I've been having dreams about weddings lately, not necessarily my own. I think I'll wear red.

There are some shades of green that don't look good on me.

In adversarial situations, I tend to come down harder on people when they show signs of weakness and concession.

My favorite common atmospheric phenomenon is coruscation, when shafts of sunlight burst through clouds like flashlight beams. Close second is rings around the moon.

Astrologically speaking, I have more aspects and planets in earth and water signs than any other, but the Gemini sun in midheaven trumps them all. Josh and I have a conjunction of rising signs and his sun is in conjunction with my moon right on the cusp of Sagittarius and Capricorn.

When getting a Celtic cross tarot reading, I'm signified by the Queen of Swords.

I don't place much credence in astrology or tarot, but they sure do make me think outside my empiric box. You can go to Facade and see for yourself about chance divination.


I SHIT YOU NOT

This search string pointed to my site on Yahoo:

"some of you women out there could care less about a guy named steve as you enjoy shitting on him , if you think youre too good for him then leave him alone , he knows that, hes given up on women because he is tired of getting shitted on, he doesnt care about life anymore"

Also from Yahoo: "porn physical therapists" brings you here.

posted by Julie Neff  # 2/18/2003 10:17:00 PM

SCENARIO

Setting: Judeo-Christian God's soul-assignment department, circa September 1973. God says, "Okay, this afternoon and evening we had 56 conceptions in the Florida panhandle alone. Get to work, people. Lots of Tauruses and Geminis coming out of this one." Someone puts Marvin Gaye on the stereo. It's the guy in charge of Mrs. F's case. He figures, she likes the Motown, she just got knocked up...why not?

Such were the supposed circumstances of my creation, so some would say. I put a whimsical spin on almost everything, though. I wonder...when they were making me who I am today, was there any quibbling, any disagreement, any dissent?

In the physical gifts department:

"Well, dad was a high school football player, but mom's built like a stick. Let's give it Dad's build."
"Oh yeah! And did you see the racks on the grandmothers? One of those was my doing."
"Get out! Which one?"
"Fern."
"Damn."
"Yeah. If it's a girl, better look out." Makes bouncy-bouncy with the hands.

or...
"Mom's blonde, dad's got brown hair...heh heh...let's make the kid a redhead."
"Oh, that'll make him wonder."
"That's the idea."

And in the mental skills department:

"Hm. We gave it an IQ of give-or-take range of 150-ish."
"So you made another nerd. Goooood."
"No, no. We're not giving the math. Just the words. Vocabulary especially."
"Oh. That's all right, then."

Gender assignment?

"Hey, you have a dinar?"
"What, you have to do a gender?"
"Yep...here, give me that." flip....
"It's rolling...rolling...will you go catch the stupid coin?"
"Heads."
"All right, boy it is."
"Wait...no, it was tails."
"For Christ's sake (sorry Lord), can't you even read a coin flip? I already did about 20% of it, and I'm not starting over."
"Kiss my ass."
"I guess she'll have to learn to live with it."

Personality traits...

"All right. We have the good stuff...curious, intelligent, creative, determined, compassionate, survivor in extremis...but then also reckless, quick-tempered, deceptive,careless and NO WILLPOWER WHATSOEVER."
"What, not even a little bit?"
"Nope. If we gave her any willpower, we'd have had to trade in some of the vocabulary and about half of the body, and you know those are set in stone."
"Poor thing. I hope this one doesn't end up fixating on food, or she's going to be a tank."

Yeah.

The point of this little thought exercise is to determine why I have no willpower. This scenario explains it perfectly.

posted by Julie Neff  # 2/18/2003 09:09:00 PM

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