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HiDeeHo

"Some calls it madness...I calls it HiDeeHo." - Cab Calloway
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Thursday, April 24, 2003

TOO MUCH

I've been blessed with digital cable. The music channels alone boggle the mind and now we can order Pay-Per-View everything with I-control.

Never have I been given more reasons to stay inside. Must...not...be...TV zombie...

posted by Julie Neff  # 4/24/2003 10:21:00 PM

Tuesday, April 22, 2003

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Do not play tug-of-war with your kids in the bathroom.

Mo and I were engaged in this tug-of-war of sorts in the bathroom, and the thing we were pulling on came apart. She fell first into the toilet and then, because I was trying to catch her and had changed her center of gravity, she whacked her head on the edge of the bathtub.

Ow. Caught the bottom edge of the sliding door track right between her upper cheekbone and the side of her eye. Ow, ow ow. Nice big blue bruise. Ow. Geez, I'm sorry. Ow. Poor kid.

BUT
Here's a measure of how tough Morgan is.

She's standing there whimpering with an ice pack stuck to her face, bare to the waist (she was getting ready for her bath when the incident occurred), clutching Cheer Bear, cold and wet from having fallen actually into the toilet (who left the lid up?), dosed up on ibuprofen, and she hears Spongebob on TV in the background.

"Can I watch TV?" The ice pack falls away and she's already walking out the bathroom, whimpers and tears fading quickly.

"No. Hang on a minute. Let me see..." (mom keeps playing doctor, poking, testing for nerve damage, feeling for temporal artery pulses, wincing at the bruise, having her open and close and roll her eyes, does it hurt here, here here...)

"Mom...look, I'm fine. I can do this." With that, she actually pushes the swelling flat with her fingers. I can see the bruise puffing up around them. Argh. I cringe. She winces. "See? Can I watch TV?"

I told her, "No, now get in the tub." She's amusing herself by having a digestively-enhanced bubble bath. Ah, the joys of kids.

The morals of the story are:
1. Don't play tug-of-war in the bathroom.
2. Put the lid down.
3. TV cures everything.
4. Farts in the bathtub are funny if you're 6, and have also been known to cure things.

posted by Julie Neff  # 4/22/2003 07:41:00 PM

Monday, April 21, 2003

MEIN WEIB

I love love love Vipe.org. I love every single thing this woman has to say, and you know what...she's kind of cute.

Gotcha!!!

Adios Barbie is also good.

posted by Julie Neff  # 4/21/2003 09:23:00 PM

THIS IS SOMETHING SPONTANEOUS

Josh bought me the complete Black Adder boxed DVD set. I've been wanting that since I knew it existed. All I had to do was call him up and tell him "Hey, I've got a DVD player now," and he comes home with this. Any other boyfriend, upon feeling in a gift-giving mood, would have found some sparkly rocks or hunks of metal in a stupid expensive store that would elicit an "Oh, that's nice" reaction. The really bad boyfriends would bring home something stretchy and slingshot-shaped, two sizes too small, and expect me to prance around happily in it and call THAT a gift.

Not so my Pooka. He's a thinking girl's man.

Best. Boyfriend. Evar.

(sotto voce: I wonder what I'd get for financing on a house for us next...maybe all the seasons of Monty Python? Narf...)

posted by Julie Neff  # 4/21/2003 01:30:00 PM

NOTHING IS SACRED

Okay, so I'm typing along, munching on Lay's potato chips. As is my wont, I read the back of the bag to see the nutritional information...and I get a nasty surprise.

INGREDIENTS: Potatoes, corn and/or cottonseed oil, salt, lactose...

Lactose? In potato chips? What the fuck?

The Lay's people are trying to kill me.

posted by Julie Neff  # 4/21/2003 01:11:00 PM

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