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HiDeeHo

"Some calls it madness...I calls it HiDeeHo." - Cab Calloway
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Friday, August 15, 2003

COUNTDOWN TO VANITY

We're going to Minneapolis this weekend for an audience with the esteemed Heather Corinna.

You'll notice a lot of self-potraiture on this site. I noticed a striking similarity between the way she's built and the way I'm built (add a few stretch marks on the ol' postpartum tum and that's me). I think she and her camera could do wonders for my self-esteem, and I've always wanted to have some highbrow artsy pics done, not that gritty webcam stuff. Not yet. So the opportunity presented itself and I jumped on it. Word to the courageous.

To those of you who prefer not to think of me this way...um, too bad. I'm a woman coming into her prime and the urge to show off is too strong to be ignored. After despising my body and how it's made for the last 14 years, the promise of being immortalized in digital photos as a subject of beauty and sexiness was too much to resist.

I'm currently engaged in all manner of last-minute appearance-enhancement activity - mud masks, deep conditioner on my mane, Whitestripping my teeth, limiting my salt and sugar intake, choosing wardrobe, etc. When I'm done with my eight hours of reports, I'm going on the most difficult and hilly section of Lapham Peak - the black loop. It's 7 miles of killer hills. Must bust the glutes and quads.

We discussed possibly recreating the theme/tone of the John William Waterhouse painting of Hylas and the Nymphs with one nymph (me) and, oh, I don't know, someone else as Hylas. Like she said, it'd kick ass to queer up that scenario. Yeah...some cute butch with dark hair...modernized with piercings and tattoos and femme/butch overtones..I could SO do that. And Josh could watch. Heehee.

Momentary vanity overcomes the insults and degradations of the past. I recommend it highly. It'll do wonders for you.

Back on Monday morning. I'll let you know how it goes.

posted by Julie Neff  # 8/15/2003 11:29:00 AM

ANOTHER PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

In comments, there is a character calling himself 'morgansdad.' Let me assure you, Morgan does not think of him as her dad, nor do I. Neither nature nor nurture did he contribute. He never adopted her. Aside from this blurb, let us not indulge this moron with attention unwarranted.

For the record, scrawling messages with chalk on a driveway in the wee hours of the morning ranks about 967,856th in ways to change your ex-wife's mind, and about 4th in desparation moves. One cannot claim maturity when one is using a child's gambit.

posted by Julie Neff  # 8/15/2003 07:52:00 AM

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

THE BIGGEST FRIGGIN GEEKS IN THE WORLD

"Geeks are their own society: a literate, hyperinformed underground. The community accepts people from all walks of life, assuming they have access to the net and the skill to use it. Geeks are rather openminded with regards to nonstandard lifestyles. Many geeks are queer, more practice non-monogamy, and the most common religion is neo-paganism. You can't tell if someone is a geek just by looking at them, there is no dress code. Some dress casually, some prefer silk - but few pay attention to current fashion. You are more likey to see a geek in a renaissance bodice than a dress from glamour magazine; or a tiedye instead of suit and tie. The unwritten geek credo states that originality and strangeness are good, and that blind conformity and stupidity are unforgivable."

Okay, so I lifted this from another page, but I really like it. Here's more on geek vs. cool from Gazebo:

"Cool is also tied up with apathy; I wish I could remember who first said that for teenagers, the biggest social sin is to get excited about something. Perhaps the real defining characteristic of geeks, from which we can start, is that geeks get unreservedly excited about things. That isn't cool; or at least, those who wish to be judged 'cool' must be careful about what they get excited about."

Amen.

When I label myself as a geek, that means I get overly excited about and interested in nonstandard things. Medical breakthoughs, trails I haven't hiked, flowers or trees or mineral strata I've never seen before, RPGs I haven't played, authors I haven't read, dishes I haven't cooked, music I've never heard...and all of the things I consider myself an expert on as well, once I get going, you can't shut me up.

Here's some logic for you. If apathy is a prerequisite for cool, and I feel bad when I feel apathetic, I'd feel bad being cool. Q.E.D.

That subculture mentioned above? I think Josh and I have created a sub-subculture of our own. It seems that between the two of us, we geek out on EVERYTHING, and I do mean everything. We can be insular, but at the same time we are very invitational and inclusive. All you have to do is approach us, together or individually, have an intelligent thing to contribute and BAM! you're in, you're one of us and we're your buddies for life. There is nothing too outre' about which to geek. Matter of fact, by the above, the more outre' the better.

Other geeks tend to pick up on this. Thus, when we go out in public, we are irresistible.

At least in theory.

posted by Julie Neff  # 8/12/2003 03:15:00 PM

Monday, August 11, 2003

CUSSIN' 101

Josh, Mo and I went on a mini-hike at Lapham Peak last night. We went nearly to Schrodinger's Savannah and back on the IAT, and then drove up to the tower. The sun was setting, the moon had risen, both sun and moon were glowing red in the hazy clouds. We could see about 60 miles in all directions. It was lovely.

The moon gradually shaded to orange. I mentioned this change to Mo, and said it looks kind of like a harvest moon. Mo says, maybe it is. I say, but harvest moons are usually in October. She gets a mischievous look on her face and says, maybe it IS October. Josh says, that means you've missed a month of school.

Mo got a look on her face I've never seen before, and says "Damnit!" Exactly like an adult would say if they had been told they'd missed a month of something.

We couldn't bring ourselves to chastise her. She cussed correctly, after all.

Next: Proper use of the word "ass" and derivatives.

A MYSTERY SOLVED

Upon rereading the ingredient list on a pack of gummi candies, I noted inclusion of sorbitol. This is a notorious tummy-ache maker. Other GI side effects do not bear mentioning; let it suffice to say that sorbitol is a laxative and is administered to patients detoxing from opioid addiction. Yes, that bad.

The moral: Read labels.


posted by Julie Neff  # 8/11/2003 03:43:00 PM

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